Megan Fox : McDonald’s is hiring too !

I know this isn’t the most current news out there, but I am sure that there are people out there that do “catch-up” on news like I do. I don’t always see the latest stuff until months later sometimes because, well, I really don’t give a crap about most of the garbage that goes on daily… especially in Hollywood.

I was doing my usual surfing of the web this morning and came across a trailer for the movie 2012 with John Cusack, when I noticed a link to another article about Megan Fox. I said, “Who the hell is that?” Curiosity got the best of me so I clicked the link (it was something about her Madonna tattoo).

I began reading the article and finally realized who this girl was. I admit that I did see Transformers. Shhh! Don’t tell anyone! As I continued to read this article and moved on to a few others about Megan, I started furling my brow in disbelief. Is this girl serious? Are you friggen’ kidding me? She actually had the nerve to compare Michael Bay (The Director) to Hitler and Napoleon? The very man that took a chance and gave her a role in a Blockbuster film (Transformers – that BTW launched Shia LaBeouf’s rocketing career). Can a “nobody actress” really think that slamming Michael Bay over and over again is really going to be productive to her career?

One of the quotes she made during filming (reported by a crew member) – The press certainly doesn’t know her most famous line. On our first day in Egypt, the Egyptian government wouldn’t let us shoot because of a permit problem as the actors got ready in make up at the Four Seasons Hotel. Michael tried to make the best of it; he wanted to take the cast and crew on a private tour of the famous Giza pyramids. God hold us witness, Megan said, “I can’t believe Michael is f*cking forcing us to go to the f*cking pyramids!”

Like Steven Spielberg, Michael Bay has a history of great film making and also a reputation of casting new talent – which has worked out really well for the likes of Nick Cage (The Rock – 1996), Ben Affleck (Pearl Harbor – 2001), Shia LaBeouf (Transformers – 2007), Will Smith and Martin Lawrence (Bad Boys – 1995). 

Now I do understand about Hollywood and its entourage of higher-than-mighty attitudes. But usually that comes from the likes of Alec Baldwin, Sean Penn and that Scientologist fella – not a 23 year old small time actress who is finally given a big break by a director who makes about $25,000,000 a movie.

Megan Fox to Entertainment Weekly – “I mean, I can’t sh*t on this movie because it did give me a career and open all these doors for me. But I don’t want to blow smoke up people’s ass. People are well aware that this is not a movie about acting.”
Michael Bay’s Response – “Nobody in the world knew about Megan Fox until I found her and put her in Transformers,” he says. “I like to think that I’ve had some luck in building actors’ careers with my films.”

Let’s do a quick comparison of the two people involved here:

Average salary per movie: $25,000,000 

Famous Quote: Directing is not a job. It’s more like a career. Which is great!”
A graduate of Wesleyan University, Michael Bay spent his 20s working on advertisements and music videos. His first projects after film school were in the music video business. He created music videos for Tina Turner, Meat Loaf, Lionel Richie, Wilson Phillips, Donny Osmond and ‘The DiVinyls’. His work won him recognition and a number of MTV award nominations. He also filmed advertisements for Nike, Reebok, Coca-Cola, Budweiser and Miller Lite. He won the Grand Prix Clio for Commercial of the Year for his “Got Milk/Aaron Burr” commercial. At Cannes, he has won the Gold Lion for The Best Beer campaign for Miller Lite, as well as the Silver for “Got Milk”. In 1995 Bay was honored by the Directors Guild of America as Commercial Director of the Year. That same year he also directed his first feature film, Bad Boys (1995), starring Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, which grossed more than $160 million worldwide. His follow-up film, The Rock (1996), starring Sean Connery and Nicolas Cage, was also hugely successful, making Bay the director du jour.

Dated Playboy centerfold Jaime Bergman (45th Anniversary Playmate).

Educated at Pasadena’s Art Center College of Design in California and Syracuse University in Syracuse, NY.

In Bad Boys (1995), Bay paid $25,000 (one quarter of his fee) for the climax explosion scene. The initial shot was made impossible by a rainstorm, and the production company refused to pay for another try.
Member of Propaganda Films.

All his films up to and including Armageddon (1998) made him the youngest director to reach the billion dollar mark world wide.

Since the age of 26, Bay has won every major commercial directing award, including the Gold and Silver Lions at the Cannes Lions International Advertising Festival. He also won the Grand Prix Clio for Commercial of the Year for his “Got Milk/Aaron Burr” commercial, which also won him the Museum of Modern Art Award for Best Campaign of the Year.

Filmed the movie Armageddon (1998) with an eye towards Middle America. Has a love for Americana.

Studied under film historian Jeanine Basinger at Wesleyan University; Basinger later provided audio commentary, along with Bay, for the Pearl Harbor (2001) DVD.

He is a very close friend of writer/director George Lucas from whom he often seeks advice. As a teenager, he worked at ILM in the storyboard department for films like Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981).

He is a very good friend to Don Michael Paul and even lent him some aerial shots from The Rock (1996) to Paul’s movie Half Past Dead (2002).

Ranked #47 on Premiere’s 2005 Power 50 List. Had ranked #54 in 2004.

President of The Institute for the Development of Enhanced Perceptual Awareness, a commercial and music video production company.

Two of his films, Armageddon (1998/I) and The Rock (1996), are in the Criterion Collection.

Turned down the offer to direct Van Helsing (2004), opting to do The Island (2005) instead.

Was offered the chance to direct Man on Fire (2004).

Was offer the opportunity to direct Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003) but pulled out of the project due to scheduling conflicts.

Good friends with Ben Affleck.

Was considered to direct Superman Returns (2006).


Average salary per movie: $250,000

Famous Quote: “If I ever lose a role because of my tattoos, I’ll quit Hollywood and go to work at Costco.”

Megan Fox was born May 16, 1986 in Tennessee. She has one older sister. Megan began her training in drama and dance at the age of 5 and, at the age of 10, moved to Florida where she continued her training and finished school. She now lives in Los Angeles. Megan began acting and modeling at the age of 13 after winning several awards at the 1999 American Modeling and Talent Convention in Hilton Head, South Carolina. Megan made her film debut as “Brianna Wallace” in the Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen movie, Holiday in the Sun (2001)

Named #68 in FHM magazine’s “100 Sexiest Women in the World 2006” supplement. (2006)

Ranked #18 on the Maxim magazine Hot 100 of 2007 list.

She has Irish, French and Cherokee ancestry.

Is friends with Jennifer Blanc, Kellan Rhude, Amanda Seyfried, and Michael Biehn.

Is both a fan of comic books and video games. Her favorite artist is the recently deceased Michael Turner.

Is a huge fan of animals and has owned dogs, cats, birds, squirrels and a pig.

Named Shia LaBeouf as one of her favorite people ever.

Engaged to Brian Austin Green from November 2006 until February 2009 when they called off their engagement. They then got back together in April 2009.

Her Irish ancestors were from County Tipperary, one of the first Irish counties to be established in the 13th century.

She has a quote from William Shakespeare‘s ‘King Lear’ tattooed on her right shoulder that reads: “We will all laugh at gilded butterflies.”.

First ever female to grace GoreZone Magazine’s front cover.

Is a natural blond.

A THOUGHT: “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you or has fed you in the past.” Especially someone with so many friends in Hollywood. You may just end up with Rainn Wilson as your next co-star -or – You might just end up having to take that job at Costco.



About Chase Morgan
Chase Morgan is just your average, ordinary All-American writer. Chase began writing several years ago, but never published anything until the "Are You Friggen' Kidding Me?" blog launched in August of 2009. Chase simply got tired of standing around and just observing all of the craziness in the world, so this anxious writer sat down and wrote the first "Are YOu Friggen' Kidding Me?" article on August 19th, 2009. Now, any time something makes Chase say, "Are You Friggen' Kidding Me?", the issue get's transformed into an article. Chase is currently single, homeless and living under a bridge in South Florida.

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