The Most Ridiculous Infomercials

Have you seen the shameless exaggeration, the tasteless products, and the pure hokum dispensed by all those infomercials that clog up the late night airwaves?

Please Note: I am not reviewing the products!! We are just laughing at things that are funny or silly in the infomercials themselves and we do not endorse or denounce any of the products listed here. 

 

 

FlowBee: 

In this classic 1980s infomercial, carpenter Rick Hunts convinced “hundreds of thousands” that they could save a few bucks by getting their hair cut at home by a vacuum cleaner.

 

Magic Jack: 

Mel Arthur and his hair plugs try to convince viewers they are watching something called the “$avings Shopping Network” in an effort to get them to try the Magic Jack Internet phone device.

 

Bullet Express: 

In this exciting third installment in the legendary Magic Bullet series, Mick and Mimi invite their relatives over and force them to watch an “8 minute meal machine.” New characters include two crabby old ladies, Granny and Aunt Martha, and the fat slob Ralph.

 

ExtaMax: 

In the most shameless “male enhancement” infomercial yet, a bunch of STD-ridden nightclub skanks in their 20s stay sober long enough to discuss whether “size matters.” And don’t miss Dr. Victoria Zdrok—porn star with a PhD.

 

ExtenZe Sex Talk: 

It has been a full seven years since the appalling ExtenZe infomercial first tried to convince losers that taking a pill would that increase “that certain part of the male anatomy.” Now you can toast this anniversary with a new ExtenZe “male enhancement beverage.” Makes a great cocktail!

 

Almighty Cleanse: 

It looks like we’re in deep doo-doo again! Self-described “health evangelist” Danny Vierra is on a crusade to clear your colon of poo and parasites and is perfectly willing to gross you out to do it.

 

Matthew Lesko: 

With the wardrobe of the Riddler and the charm of Urkel, Matthew Lesko promises to reveal the secrets of how to snatch money from the government.

 

Dual Action Cleanse with Klee Irwin: 

document.write(‘

This one-time radio infomercial has now made the television big time. Watch colon cleanser expert Klee Irwin get down and dirty with thirty minutes of doo-doo talk. See 2 “Crappy” Video Clips from the Dual Action infomercial!

‘);

Dual Action Cleanse with Klee IrwinThis one-time radio infomercial has now made the television big time. Watch colon cleanser expert Klee Irwin get down and dirty with thirty minutes of doo-doo talk.

 

Rejuvenique: 

Want to tighten your facial muscles without the hassle of plastic surgery? Hosted by Linda Evans, this infomercial offers a plastic mask hooked up to a 9-volt battery as a fantastic way to exercise your face. One of the most disturbing beauty products ever.
 

 

Magic Bullet: 

Here is your invitation to the hazy morning after Mick and Mimi’s party. So pull up a stool and join party animal “Berman,” chain-smoking “Hazel,” and a bunch of yuppies as they gasp in amazement at a blender.

 

Dual Action Cleanse 2: 

The Count Chocula of Colon Cleasing, Klee Irwin, is back to creep us out with a new version of his infomercial. See a picture of what comes out of you after a “cleanse!” Learn about the celebrities that use Dual Action Cleanse! Please do not watch while eating.

 

Dr. Ho: 

Dr. Ho It looks like an electrical gadget is inducing muscle spasms. But Dr. Ho assures us it’s really a soothing massage. And if watching involuntary muscle contractions isn’t your thing, Dr. Ho provides plenty of cleavage and firm butt cheeks for you to look at. 

Miss Cleo: 

Miss Cleo Babies, trust your future to de mystical powers of a psychic who can’t even get her Jamaican accent right. Learn about the rise and fall of “Miss Cleo” and why her image will forever be an emblem of the phone-in psychic racket. 

 

Tom Vu: 

In the late 80s and early 90s, a Vietnamese immigrant named Tom Vu presented mansions, yachts, luxury cars, and gorgeous women in bikinis as the inevitable rewards of his wealth system. The most shameless and best remembered of the get-rich-quick real estate infomercials. My choice for the second most laughable infomercial ever aired.

 

Tony Little Gazelle: 

Tony Little Gazelle Blonde, muscular, pony-tailed infomercial icon Tony Little is still shouting after all these years. This time around he’s showing T&A and screaming to get you to try some sort of glider contraption called the Gazelle Freestyle.
Myotron Pulse Wave (Crime In America): 
Sheer terror helps sell the Myotron Pulse Wave, a glorified stun-gun. Crime statistics and grisly re-enactments of rape, muggings, and murder aim to frighten the viewers into buying. Lame dramatizations with horrible acting show the Myotron in action. This is my pick for the most hilarious infomercial ever broadcast!

California Pines:

Some guy dressed like a cross between Yosemite Sam and a pimp tries to sell lots of land in northern California. Viewers are told that the nature, people, and lifestyle of this place really, truly, and actually are perfect in every way. Later versions of this infomercial hosted by Erik “Ponch” Estrada.

ExtenZe: 

ExtenZePorn star Ron “The Hedgehog” Jeremy interviews his colleagues from the world of adult video. Oh, by the way, this infomercial also tries to sell ExtenZe, a pill for growing “that certain part of the male anatomy.”

Magic Bullet To Go: 

Mick and Mimi drag their friends to the woods and force them to watch a blender again in this exciting sequel to the Magic Bullet infomercial. Everyone’s favorite alcoholics, Hazel and Berman, return and get cozy. Also, see Barney and Betty’s marriage fall apart and Dino act like a dumbass.

Alzare: 

The Alzare infomercial proves that penis enlargment ads are not just for your Inbox anymore. This program features on-the-street testimonials with some of the stupidest statements ever uttered on an infomercial. Learn exactly why “size matters.”
AromaTrim:

Get your nose to lose weight for you. Just stick AromaTrim under your nostrils and let it alter your brain chemistry. It’s painless! See the infomercial that isn’t afraid to blindfold and mock its volunteers.

Poder Sexual:

Think Latino TV isn’t doing enough to stimulate its audience? This pre-Viagra Spanish infomercial peddles a “100% Natural” aphrodisiac. Dramatizations prove Poder Sexual can both salvage your love life and prevent suicide.

 

 

Santo Gold: 

This truly bizarre, low-budget infomercial tries to both sell a gaudy gold jewelry biz-op and promote a “space wrestling” movie called Blood Circus. Features Santo Gold himself singing! Perhaps the strangest infomercial ever broadcast.

 

 

Juiceman: 

A hyperactive and disjointed old man is touted as the picture of good health. By “juicing” you can be just like him. With fervent, nonstop body movements, Jay “The Juiceman” Kordich vouches for the incredible powers of fruit and vegetable juices.

 

Love Avenue: 

Wanna meet all sorts of gorgeous and vacuous people? The infomercial for the Love Avenue date-line flashes images of barely-clothed, sexy bodies and promises that you can date people just like them just by calling. So what are you waiting for…?

 

 

Tae Bo: 

Karate champ Billy Blanks’ Tae Bo workout is the hottest thing in Hollywood. The endorsement of so many celebrities supposedly makes this exercise regimen more credible. But this infomercial tells us that Blanks is not just concerned with taut and trim bodies: he cares about our “spirit.”

 

 

Richard Simmons: 

A stage was built in a shopping mall, Richard Simmons showed up to prance around on it, and a crowd of thousands arrived to stare at the fey fitness expert taping his infomercial. One woman has a spontaneous emotional breakdown in Richard’s presence.
Advertisements

About Chase Morgan
Chase Morgan is just your average, ordinary All-American writer. Chase began writing several years ago, but never published anything until the "Are You Friggen' Kidding Me?" blog launched in August of 2009. Chase simply got tired of standing around and just observing all of the craziness in the world, so this anxious writer sat down and wrote the first "Are YOu Friggen' Kidding Me?" article on August 19th, 2009. Now, any time something makes Chase say, "Are You Friggen' Kidding Me?", the issue get's transformed into an article. Chase is currently single, homeless and living under a bridge in South Florida.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: