Frenzied Fruitport Female Flings Frozen Fish at Frosty Fisherman, Faces Felonies

What’s the punishment for not turning around while a strange woman urinates near your ice-fishing shanty? A bluegill to the head, apparently. Okay, it’s probably not a “felony” to fling frozen fish at strangers, but misdemeanor doesn’t start with the right letter. So, sue me!
The following events took place on a frozen lake in western Michigan, not far from Lake Michigan and just south of Muskegon.  Needless to say, this time of year, ice fishing is pretty common on any frozen body of water larger than you swimming pool. And sometimes, between the bad fishing and the beer, things get a little out-of-hand. Like having a frozen fish (the non-breaded kind) flung at your face.

Chill out lady!

The incident happened around 1 p.m. Saturday on Black Lake, which is located near Wood Street and Judson Road in Norton Shores, when a 29-year-old woman allegedly struck both men with a fish, said Norton Shores Police Lt. Jon Gale.

Gale said officers were called to the lake by one of the men who claimed they were assaulted by “a female wielding a fish.” The men, both in their early 20s, said they were ice fishing in a shanty when they were approached by a woman who “wanted to urinate on the ice,” Gale said.

“The woman said to turn their heads while she urinated. While their backs were turned the woman struck the first complainant in the head with a fish,” Gale said. “The female then approached them and struck the other man across the face with a fish.”  Gale said “some words were then exchanged” and the woman then “returned to her shanty.”

When officers interviewed the woman, she claimed that she was upset “because the other men put their shanty too close to her shanty,” Gale said.  “She said she threw the fish at the men, but missed. She denied hitting them,” Gale said.

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About Chase Morgan
Chase Morgan is just your average, ordinary All-American writer. Chase began writing several years ago, but never published anything until the "Are You Friggen' Kidding Me?" blog launched in August of 2009. Chase simply got tired of standing around and just observing all of the craziness in the world, so this anxious writer sat down and wrote the first "Are YOu Friggen' Kidding Me?" article on August 19th, 2009. Now, any time something makes Chase say, "Are You Friggen' Kidding Me?", the issue get's transformed into an article. Chase is currently single, homeless and living under a bridge in South Florida.

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