High Security

“She grabbed a bag of apricots, dried apricots, opened them, ate a couple, put it back and the security guard watched her do it,” says Alissa Jones, about an incident at a Safeway grocery store in Everett, Wash. The guard labeled it shoplifting, and grabbed the culprit, Savannah Harp, and took her and her shopping companion, who didn’t see the incident, to the back of the store for interrogation.

 “She’s banned from the store, and we’re pressing charges,” the guard told them. “And she needs to sign this form saying she understands she can’t come into any Safeways.” The problem: Savannah can’t read or write; she’s 4. But the guard made her scribble something like her name on the paper anyway. Her companion at the store was her father. When corporate officials heard about it, the security guard was fired, and apologized to Savannah’s parents.”Our policies on shoplifting are intended to protect our customers, but built on common sense,” said Safeway spokeswoman Cherie Myers. “And everyone understands what common sense is.”

A THOUGHT: Common sense tells those with common sense that common sense isn’t very common, as reviewing the security guard’s actions should have told Ms. Myers if she had any common sense.

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About Chase Morgan
Chase Morgan is just your average, ordinary All-American writer. Chase began writing several years ago, but never published anything until the "Are You Friggen' Kidding Me?" blog launched in August of 2009. Chase simply got tired of standing around and just observing all of the craziness in the world, so this anxious writer sat down and wrote the first "Are YOu Friggen' Kidding Me?" article on August 19th, 2009. Now, any time something makes Chase say, "Are You Friggen' Kidding Me?", the issue get's transformed into an article. Chase is currently single, homeless and living under a bridge in South Florida.

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