PAGING JENNIFER LOPEZ:

 Oneal Ron Morris came up with a special concoction
 — a combination of cement, mineral oil, and Super Glue — which he
 brought to “pumping parties”, according to police in Miami Gardens,
 Fla. At such events, Morris allegedly injected people’s buttocks with
 his formula to round them out. Police got on Morris’s trail after a
 woman allegedly treated by Morris nearly died when his so-called “Fix-
 a-Flat” material spread through her body, leading to infections; she is
 still recovering. The 30-year-old victim, who paid $700 for the
 procedure, was “screaming in pain” and made Morris stop, police say. It
 took months for investigators to catch up to him, but when he was
 arrested for practicing medicine without a license and causing bodily
 harm, officers were so shocked by his appearance, they took full-length
 mug shots. It’s not that Morris is a man who looks like a woman, but
 rather that Morris had apparently been using the goo on himself: he has
 a gigantic butt.

A THOUGHT: Whereas most men arrested for hurting women are gigantic asses.

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About Chase Morgan
Chase Morgan is just your average, ordinary All-American writer. Chase began writing several years ago, but never published anything until the "Are You Friggen' Kidding Me?" blog launched in August of 2009. Chase simply got tired of standing around and just observing all of the craziness in the world, so this anxious writer sat down and wrote the first "Are YOu Friggen' Kidding Me?" article on August 19th, 2009. Now, any time something makes Chase say, "Are You Friggen' Kidding Me?", the issue get's transformed into an article. Chase is currently single, homeless and living under a bridge in South Florida.

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